Here’s some things I did this summer

What’s this? A blog update! And here I thought as an Internet culture we’d finally wised up and realized that all written communication should be reduced to 140 characters or less and be made up primarily of “OMGsss!” or “G2G BRB LOLZ!!!!!!” or “I can haz”s or maybe even “C-UL8r”‘s. Lest this turn into one of those insufferable blog posts about how I haven’t blogged in a long time I’m just going to jump in:

The Top 5 Things I Did This Summer (in no particular order):

1. Purchased a Bicycle:
   After riding the same bike since 6th grade I decided it was time to upgrade. Once the tax refund directly deposited itself into my checking account I picked up one of these. Now I’m not one of those obnoxious yuppie types who wears spandex and winds in and out of traffic, ignoring stop signs and yield signs with reckless abandon. I bike where you should bike: our lovely state parks and recreational areas! I haven’t got out there as much as I’d like but there’s still plenty of good weather left.




2. Went to the top of the St. Louis arch:
   Just to prove I’m not a horrible liar:
   Not a ton to say about it. It’s pretty old and kind of creaky. It takes 4 minutes to get to the top and you ride in what appears to be a decommissioned “Tilt-a-whirl” car. The top portion is about 15 ft. wide and maybe 60 ft. long. You have views of downtown St. Louis on one side and the Mississippi on the other. There’s no bathroom up there so if you have to poo don’t go!




3. Purchased an iPhone 4:
   I finally updated my original ancient 2 1/2 year old iPhone to the latest and greatest. What a piece of technology! Even if you are a Luddite who hates cellphones and portable electronics of all stripes you should buy one just to look at it–or better yet buy two and look at two!




4. Dislocated my right arm:
   What do you get when you cross an early July torrential downpour, a roll of lawnbags and a man of nearly 30 who likes to pretend he’s 9? Well nothing good. It was all fun and games on that makeshift Slip & Slide until I took an awkward tumble and popped my right arm right out of the shoulder socket. Soaking wet and trying not to move my upper body, I made my way to the Tria Orthopaedic Center where they tied a 5 pound weight to my wrist and let my arm “reduce.” After that it’s just physical therapy and unexpected doctor bills. Thankfully the government will soon cover all of my medical expenses leaving me free to act without any sort of sense of responsibility whatsoever. I love America!




5. Watched outdoor baseball in Minnesota:
   After years of only seeing the Twins play outside in places like Kansas City, I finally experienced outdoor baseball in the great north at Target Field. The Twins have let me down thus far by dropping 3 of the 5 games I’ve seen, but the $11 Walleye-on-a-stick more than makes up for that:
   

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