Hey kids it’s that time of year again! Here’s a step-by-step guide to making your very own Derek Jeter Jack-O-Lantern:
…would like to apologize for any hurt he may have caused you and he just wants things to go back to the way they used to be.
For the most part I disdain protest rallies. The founders of this country envisioned an educated populace rationally organizing a petition of grievances—not a bunch of 18-35 year old’s upset about things they know nothing about gathering together to smoke weed and meet chicks.
Here’s a photo journal I’ve put together of some signs I made up (and one real one—try to guess which!) explaining how I feel about the modern American protest rally:
Since I’m tired of seeing an aging David Faustino stare back a me every time I open a browser window I give you something marginally less off-putting—a Tom Selleck birthday cake:
There, isn’t that so much more pleasant? May the hope and love that Selleck brings be with you always.
…is not Shia LaBeouf’s dad. He just wanted to clear that up.
At his press conference this morning, President Obama spent a great deal of time assuring the American people that the latest spending bill/stimulus package/ACME money shredding machine would include a minimum of earmarks or at the very least only earmarks that are “worthy” (whatever the hell that means). Now I think it’s cute that the President has got the blog up and he’s trying to make this the most “transparent” administration in U.S. history (whatever the hell that means) but who are he and his congressional cohorts kidding? Promoting this kind of unprecedented spending and then spouting all manner of rhetorical blather about “responding to needs of communities” while at the same time reducing waste—with all of this done under the guise of protecting the taxpayer—is kind of like me robbing $500 from you and then giving you a $10 gift card to Chili’s.
For those of you who are looking to share your opinion on new soda products (or anything at all really thanks to the “General Discussion” thread) look no further than the message board for Mountain Dew Voltage! There aren’t enough places on the Internet to share opinions anonymously so the good people at PepsiCo are really doing the Lord’s work here.
I’m planning on putting up a 12,000 word post exhaustively detailing the relationship between Post-Keynesian economics and our current supply of Yellow 5.
Perusing the top albums in iTunes the other day, I came across Jason Mraz’s latest (terrible) album:
Hmmmm. I know I’ve seen this somewhere before. That’s right! The “amateur sketch” of the Alabama leprechaun reported on here!
I mean c’mon: “We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things”? That’s what leprechauns do! It all makes sense now.
So in closing, Jason Mraz is a nasty little Irish faerie who “wants to know where the gold at”.
On behalf of humanity I’d like to apologize for this:
If it’s any consolation this man is frequently beaten in the ratings by the likes of Peter Popoff infomercials and reruns of Family Matters on PAX.
